Knowing things. The older I get the more I know important things like… I know nothing compared to this old beauty… I know that I often find myself envious of what trees know and what they have seen… I know that I am completely jealous of just how unflappable they are with all their secrets… I know that my heart whistles a tune every time I go by. I love knowing these things.
I cannot believe that I have just said YES #!!*&##!!… I am already up to my eyeballs and beyond!!! What on earth gets into me when I know that I need to say NO and I end up saying YES or at least not saying NO!
Why is it that we do this? Are we not reasonably intelligent people who know that we are already stretched beyond what we thought was our limit? It is easy to spot when we are looking at our co-workers, friends and others, isn’t it? Yet when it comes to ourselves we have total amnesia about what would be considered a reasonable limit to how much we are capable of doing in the time we have available to us given our circumstances. It’s like there is no Off button for this ever-pleasing, must-get-it-right, can’t-let-others-down martyr who lives within us. Phew, it’s all so exhausting, isn’t it? And I don’t just mean all the extra work that lands on our doorstep, but also all the extra head mileage.
It can seem like there is no end in sight and that sometimes the world also joins in to make the road a little steeper, and you find yourself saying NEVER AGAIN…. then your boss/supplier/partner/client/child asks something of you and yep… you guessed it… YES is the word that comes out of your mouth before you’ve even had time to blink. ARRGHHH!!!
If I told you that what’s going on here is your need to please people or to be seen as competent or a host of other things, you’d say yes, I know that, I’ve got the books, been to the seminars, got the certifications and watched the webinar with Oprah, and nothing’s changed. What else is there to do?
How about sharing the load with others who are in the same anguish? This is weighty stuff, and sometimes it is much easier to learn and change when we learn from each other through sharing our stories, having a laugh together and a cry on the shoulders of others who “get it” and “get us”.
Learning To Say No is the first part of my “What About Me?” series.
The aim of this series is to come together over Morning Tea with other like-minded working women, to help each other navigate our way through the hard stuff that we encounter. To share what we know and our rich experiences of life so far. To become conscious of the choices we are making from an informed and shared point of view. To slot some whimsy and fun into how life can be. And to travel down the road together, for a while at least.
What About Me? Learning To Say NO!
Wednesday 18th April 10.00 – 11.30
Numbers are limited to 10, so if this strikes a chord with you book early through www.whycounsellingbusselton.com/events/
It’s all about belonging. At the end of the day, knowing that we belong to our families and our communities is perhaps our most primary emotional need.
In this sermon Brené Brown talks about her research findings on belonging and how a lack of belonging leads to loneliness and disconnection. Here she puts it in the context of what she wants from her church. She also puts it in the context of the state of the world at the moment, and I couldn’t agree more.
In this increasingly disconnected world where blame is the easiest weapon and fear has taken up residence in the bottom of our guts, our craving for belonging has never been greater. But I’m not sure we identify that discomfort with our need for belonging.
Brené does, and she is on a mission to wake us up and make us aware that we have the power collectively and individually to change the trajectory of our communities.
And I say “Amen” to that!
WholeHearted You is once again hosting Healing Circles on the First Tuesday of the month.If you are longing for a deeper connection with yourself, others and the universe, then come along.
You will find the evening uplifting, inclusive, relaxing, informative, spiritual and reinvigorating. Take the risk, listen to your heart, and if it feels right join us on Tuesday, 6th March
Nothing speaks to the heart quite like a poem or a song.
Kevin Kling is a master at observations of the heart.
By Kevin Kling
At times in our pink innocence
We lie fallow
Waiting to grow
And other times we rush headlong like so many of our ancestors
But rush headlong or lie fallow
It doesn’t matter
One day you’ll round a corner
Your path is shifted
In a blink something is missing Continue reading Tickled Pink – Kevin Kling
Christmas can be such a hard time for a lot of people who don’t quite fit into the “happy family” model. They may have somewhere to be on Christmas Day that causes them a lot of stress. So many people I speak to feel bound by the unspoken contract that says you must follow this long-held tradition and spend Xmas with your family. To risk doing otherwise is unheard of.
It is, I think, quite ironic and very sad that in these times of being able to be connected to the entire world through our electronic devices many of us struggle Continue reading Do You Want To Do Xmas Differently This Year?
This beautifully written article by Aisling Bea (30) on her father’s suicide – when she was three – was published in The Guardian (UK) at the beginning of this month. She articulates superbly how the anguish of his absence was a constant throughout her childhood and beyond. How his suicide shaped her view of herself and her place in world and how she is now starting to come to terms with it. It is heartbreaking, thought provoking and healing all at the same time.
If after reading this article you feel you need to reach out and talk about what is going on for you please do so. There are so many fantastic people (friends, healthcare workers and organisations) around to help you get through this day, this moment, this time. Take advantage of that.
It’s hard to believe that it is now 12 months since I attended the first Wellness Expo here in Busselton. What a life-changing day that was! I became so caught up in the energy of collaboration and connection that I sensed in this beautiful region that here I am with my own Expo stall and 10 months of living in Busselton under my belt and loving it!
I am passionate about helping people find out who they really are when they are feeling stuck or trapped by life and it seems to be all uphill. My own journey has helped me see that anything is possible, we just need others to help guide us through when we get bogged down in the everyday. We are not here to do this journey on our own, we are hardwired for community and we thrive when we feel encompassed by one.
Come and say hello to me and have a chat about things if you’ve wondered whether counselling would be right for you. WholeHearted You Counselling will be in stall 22 at the end of Queen St near Marine Tce.
There will be 35 practitioner stalls and a host of inspirational speakers in the Weld Theatre. Make a day of it and spend a few hours learning about what wonderful healthcare is available here in this fabulous region.
The grass is always greener or so it seems. But is it? Too often we are blind to the things that we already have or we have become complacent about having these things. It’s easy to mix our needs up with our wants. Too many wants can leave us feeling empty and like we don’t have enough and there is no end to that kind of longing. It’s a one way street.
Become conscious of what you do have already and look underneath your wants to find the feelings that hide out there. They’ll lead you to your very own green fields.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we were taught by the world around us that it was OK to be who we were born to be? Right from the start. Authentically you, flawed you, funny you, shy you, loud you, brilliant you, sporty you, bookish you, gawky you, handsome you, extraordinary you, you, you, you…