Excellent talk…Mandy Saligari is so on the money! Hands up those who love the idea of being able to say what it is we are feeling without thinking that the end of the world is coming!!! Not the BS that we dish out to keep everyone happy. It’s never never too late.
Most of us know someone who drinks too much. Our society romanticises and celebrates those who can drink others under the table. We don’t like the street drunk or those caught in a never-ending cycle of social welfare but we do have a blind spot for what is called the functioning alcoholic. Our movies and popular culture, it seems, almost worship them and their antics, and our big businesses and governments profit from the proceeds of their excesses.
But who is there at 3 o’clock in the morning witnessing shouted nonsensical slurred instructions down a phone line.
– “Come and get me!!!”
– “Where are you?”
– “I am sitting on a park bench.”
– “I don’t know!”
– “Can you get a taxi?”
– “No. I can’t see one.”
– “How can I come and get you if you don’t know where you are?”
– “I’m sitting on a bench. I lost my bag and coat.”
– “What bench? What can you see around you? Describe it to me.”
– “Are you coming to get me or what???”
– “You’ve got to help me here… is there a street nearby?”
– “F**k you then!!!”
Clunk, she drops the phone, ending the call. Only to ring four more times between 3 a.m. and 5.30 a.m. for further circular exchanges and you’ve got to be able to function at work that day by 8 a.m. and you have already spent most of the night worrying. Continue reading The Agony Of Watching Alcohol Addiction Decimate A Loved One:
“To This Day” – This wonderful poignant, emotional and at times humorous poem by the beautiful Canadian poet Shane Koyczan addresses the crushing, and often life-long, effect of bullying on a young tender heart. Here he gives us a brief overview of the beginnings of his own journey when he was invited to present “To This Day” at a TED Conference, and then sit tight for an emotional roller-coaster as he delivers this haunting piece.
Sadly, bullying is something that most of us have experienced and not all of it took place at school or in our communities, many of us have lived through the experience at home. Bullying is something that needs to be continually pulled out into the light and all aspects of it highlighted and examined then extinguished with courage and a no-level-of-tolerance attitude from us all.
It takes years to create non-helpful thoughts and behaviours so it stands to reason that it will take a little bit of time to change them. Be gentle on yourself.
There is still a perception dearly held by many people that to seek out counselling is to somehow be giving in or admitting to some sort of weakness or character flaw of not being able to cope, and they hold up being able to cope as the Holy Grail of life. It’s the pinnacle of being in control and having some mastery of this thing called life. The bitter irony is, of course, that most of the masters would say control is the last thing you want. In fact, the very notion that you’re ever in control of anything other than your own mind is one of the grandest illusions of all. Continue reading Why Have Counselling?
Who do you think you are? What is your role here on this earth? Do you even think you have one or is that something that should be left for others, for all those who are brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous, not for you… for ordinary you or ordinary me? What a great time of the year to sit down and consider these questions.
This got me thinking about the “others”, the likes of Steven Spielberg, Barack Obama, Bob Brown, Marianne Williamson, Sting and Fiona Stanley. What sets them apart from me and you? And my thoughts turned not only to the well-known and famous, but also to those in our own communities who achieve beyond the ho-hum of everyday. How are they different from me? What is it that they have that makes them become who they are? Continue reading Who Do You Think You Are?
Many of us have a knowing that who we are right now isn’t all we are meant to be, that we are here for a purpose and that often that purpose seems elusive to us. We may feel that whilst we are not broken we are stuck in a “groundhog day” kind of loop that can feel like we are flatlining or stressing through each day, each week and each year.
This lack of purpose can make us feel as though we are living as a fraud/pretender/imposter and it can rob us of any real connection to ourselves and others. Continue reading The Invisible Power of Shame